Communcation - Listening Skills

Key to any relationship is there listening skills, which is a vital part of the communication skills needed to make a successful relationship. Without good communication and/or listening skills, a relationship is surely destined to doom. If you see yours heading in the direction of lack of communication and/or listening skills, one should get up and walk away now. Trouble is many folks will stick it out, even with it being a vital red flag, and attempt to persevere because of so many other good factors; however, eventually, this will be their downfall and soon they will be trying to go to couples counseling to salvage their relationship/marriage, depending upon how long they let it go on.

My beau, however, on my 50th birthday (a very significant birthday to not miss out upon) last year, bought me a piano. Well, it was a keyboard, but indeed a very thoughtful gift. I had mentioned to him that it had been about 30 years since I had played the piano (which I had played the piano for about 15 years prior that) when around his musically inclined family -- those who played guitars and keyboards themselves, as well as sang. I really had missed playing and SOMEDAY I was indeed going to get a piano one of these days. I was really itching to buy a used one, at the very least, but needed to find one that wasn't so big that it took up much more space than my apartment could handle; in fact, unbeknown to him, I had already begun shopping around for one. Fortunately his surprise of giving me the keyboard arrived on my birthday, before I had a chance to go down to purchase one myself. I was thissssss close to doing so!

This was a pivotal point in our relationship. It wasn't so much the material object of the keyboard, complete with all the attachments excepting the pedal, but the entire thought process behind it. He had listened! and surprised me with how well he had listened. I know that none of my boyfriends or husbands in my past 30 years had ever demonstrated this so well.

The card that he gave me read:

Because it's your birthday,
I wanted to do something
really special to show you
how much I love you.
I could list all your great qualities --
your fun personality, your sexiness,
your honesty, and your thoughtfulness.
But that's not enough.
No, you need to know how many times
I think about your smile,
how many times in an ordinary day
I catch myself wishing
I could be in your arms,
or how many times
my heart does a little dance
at just the sound of your voice.
The truth is -- I can't think
of the perfect way
to show my love for you
But a good way to start
might be to give you a kiss
for every candle on your cake.
But be warned!
Once I start...
I might not ever want to stop.
~ Linda Lee Elrod

and then he added in his own handwriting to the Hallmark card:

"I'm a very lucky
man that gets to
celebrate your
birthday with you,
Angel.

Love,
Your Smiling Cowboy
xoxoxo"

Need I really say anything more as my heart feels butterflies everytime I think about how generous he had been and how well he demonstrated that he was listening to me in our relationship. He isn't perfect though. Sometimes I find that he talks over me around his family (they have such a large family that, if you don't, you might not be heard at times) and I find myself repeating things to him because he hadn't heard me the first time around; however, for the most part, he demonstrates time and time again how well he does listen. My birthday gift was just a meaningful thoughtfulness to it that I will never ever forget; if the shoes were on your foot, would you?