It is a good question as our world has indeed evolved from the days that I first started to date in the late 70's to the current day. Internet, for example, wasn't available back then so there was no opportunity to facilitate the world of online dating. You would usually find your dates at common places that you would attend -- school, Church, employment, dorms, bars, and other activities that you might have been involved with (sports, movies, grocery shopping, eating out at a restaurant, and so much more). If you didn't find a person that you were interested in dating through any of these means, sometimes a dear friend would set you up on a date that they perceived would be "perfect" for you. Sometimes, if your dear friend, wasn't as close to you as your bestest of friends, the radar for the perception of what would be perfect for you was off base; therefore, you took a leap of faith whenever you subjected yourself to the famed blind date. Of course, you could go through "speed dating" parties so that you could take a chance in meeting someone new based on quick movement around the room after asking/answering some very quickly posed questions, which could actually land you a risk far better or less than the blind date chance.
I met my first husband through a roommate I had back when I worked at Foleys (nka Macy's) who happened to have been her mother's cousin. She had warned me not to date him because he drank a lot (to the point that he was an alcoholic) but I continued to see him, despite him cheating on me with one of my best friends. My mother discouraged me from dating him, but as I had told them too when I was moving to Austin (and they said, "Everyone would love to move to Austin, but not everyone can), "Watch me!" I was a bit of a rebel back in those days and breaking away from my family home in San Antonio to find myself and my purpose in life. I probably should have listened back then, but that is all hindsight. The best thing that came out of this relationship was my daughter who has grown to a beautiful young lady, who now has a daughter of her own, my precious granddaughter that is also the joy of my life.
A guy that I met after separating from my first husband, I had picked up a personals free publication at the local Circle C (a convenience store back in the day). I learned pretty quick that these folks are deceiving too as one of the ones I met ended up being a guy that pumped up his resume and scammed many gals across the United States. That scammer ended up being an opportunity that led to me about dating in that era by the Red Book magazine. From that point in time, although I wasn't actually scammed like the other women, I learned even more about how to be more protective of my self and learned that the 20 questions wasn't often enough. I learned how to ask more like 200 questions, and sometimes more that were simply rephrased to see if they would trip up on what they said before. If they lied, as a result, it would indicate to me that (if they would lie to me about simple questions), they would lie about most anything.
I met my second husband while out on the town with one of my best friends. Turns out that he was not quite so much of an alcoholic; however, he was involved heavily into drugs. I found that, too, he was a bipolar person that wasn't taking his medication, although he knew that he should be. We went through 4-5 years of a relationship before he hit his breaking point and literally pushed me out of his life forever.
By the time that my third husband came along, internet was getting more and more attention. Yahoo was getting into the swing of things by being ahead of its time by setting up a Yahoo personals online. I met my third husband through Yahoo Personals and about a year later got married. He had never been married before, which was a nice attribute for a change of pace. Unfortunately, he died 2 weeks before our first anniversary. He showed me the gentleness and doting side of men and restored my faith in that men can be good folks. Perhaps, God had positioned us together so that I could have my faith restored in human mankind.
After that, while I would meet men from inquisitions held on the net; however, none of them seemed to have anything but one thing on their mind. Disappointed that, in my forties, men were showing their colors by being focused merrily about sexual relationships, and not meaningful true relationships (that could also include sexual relations) and/or they were married men out on the prowl outside of their marital relationships. It wouldn't be until another approximately 7 years that I would meet someone that I would have never thought I could find happiness in, but has been even more caring (if that could be possible) than the third husband.
Where are all the good romantics, well there might not be a specific place to find them or we would all flock to them immediately; however, the journey leading to a good romantic person can be found. What you need is lots of patience and release your focus upon finding that person. It can be done!
In this blog, I do hope to be able to share with you my journey with this romantic person that I have found, as unlikely as it seemed to be a match for me.
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